"That hairstylist is a monster!". Paul Kirk was originally depicted as a non-costumed independent investigator, who helped police solve crimes during the early 1940s. You hate yourself a bit for laughing but you just can't help it! Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft Star Trek light bulb jokes Fifty Ways to Kill an Ensign End of the Borg Why the chicken … Big joke! Capt. Captain Kirk and an away team, searching for intelligent life on other planets, traveled down to Earth after going through a time disturbance cloud, landing in Washington D.C. right in the middle of Clinton's inaugural ball.After looking around, Kirk says: "Beam us up, Scotty. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 10 Beam Me Up, Spocky! A pirate captain is about to pillage a Royal Navy ship. Scotty: "Because it couldna change the laws o' physics!" And while you're here, please take a moment to visit our sponsors: Star Trek Captain Humor, Kirk Puns, Picard Jokes Boldly Go where no captain's puns, make it so humor, or final frontier jokes have gone before. Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? The entire exchange between Spock, McCoy, and Kirk that closes this episode has a few funny quips from our favorite Science Officer, all of them self-compliments disguised as scientific observations. Maybe if you start praying now, by next year, god might pitty you.Now a question?Assumption:If a game is played in one and only one country. Know why?They wanted to go where no man has gone before! Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. His parents named hi… merigold00. Where would we be without them? Advertisement . 1 decade ago. It can be used to express rage in any form, for any reason - and accompanied by the appropriate expression and tone of voice, it's also downright hilarious. (TOS: \"Spectre of the Gun\") He was born on Earth in Iowa on March 22nd, 2233 as a citizen of the Federation. "Tell that to the captain! Lepre-KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Miramanee was caught between Kirok and a hard place. Click here for more information. racist. Crewman: "Nothin'. I like Star Trek and a joke about ST would be funny right about now.. :D However, they proved to be friendly, and soon a dialog was reached. Captain Kirk's futuristic-looking vessel sports cutting-edge technology, new propulsion and powerful armaments, but this ship isn't the Starship Enterprise. STAR TREK Jokes Lightbulb Jokes Lists . Computer: "Insufficient data." ... mexican. It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms! trekacrosstheuniverse. My other vehicle was assimilated by the Borg. The skipper of the stealthy USS Zumwalt is Navy Capt. Yo mama. Similarly, what did Spock find in the toilet? "And when you get down planet-side with Kirk, you'll get to seeThere must be fifty ways to kill an ensignHe takes a landing party down to find what's going onA couple of the bridge crew, and some extras come alongAnd then before you know it - the 'expendables' are goneThere must be fifty ways to kill an ensignFifty ways to kill an ensignJust step on a rock, JockGet thorns from some plants, LanceA Horta can spray, RayJust listen to meClouds drink up your blood, BudComputers can kill, BillYou could lose all your salt, WaltKirk gets away free...She said it grieves me so to see you with such nervesNot ev'ryone who goes with Kirk will suffer from this more... Kirk,your prayers were not answered! Everyone can use a little motivation and wisdom now and then. Q: What did one Borg say to one another right before their ship was destroyed in sector zero zero one? And they have a tournament. Shouldn't another country, heck even CANADA would do be involved for it to be called the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP.Any takers???KIRK??? Here is a list of 28 Star Trek one-liners of which most people are aware. Q: What did Spock find in Kirk’s toliet? 58. Much like Darth Vader's misquoted phrase, "Luke, I am your father." A: They both circle Uranus wiping out Klingons. The memes on this page have images of Captain James T Kirk from different scenes from the TV series with captions that refer to other characters on the show, trending topics and narrative of the causes of his many facial expressions. A: Hoisted by our own Picard. Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. A: A croaking device. Background. Plus, the quote is easy to remember - it … Why does Captain Kirk’s wife smell? — Captain Kirk. Dads and grandads across the world wouldn't know what to say half the time! James Kirk, and yes, he's used to the jokes about the name he shares with the TV starship commander played by actor William Shatner. Categories Movie and TV Jokes Tags Captain Jokes , Lady Jokes , Toilet Jokes This is Captain Sinclair speaking. Q: How many ears does Captain Kirk of Star Trek have? Scotty: "Because it couldna change the laws o' physics!" The first mate says, "Why do you have that peg leg?" Joe Biden joked Bill Barr should be enrolled in 'witness protection' after revealing his Justice Department didn't find any evidence of widespread voter fraud in the 2020 presidential election. Captain Kirk Jokes. Captain Kirk and an away team, searching for intelligent life on other planets, traveled down to Earth after going through a time disturbance cloud, landing in Washington D.C. right in the middle of Clinton's inaugural ball. Why not get your inspiration from one of the galaxy's greatest Starfleet captains, James Tiberius Kirk? New ship's Capt. Q: How did T'Pring's parents react when they learned she was not marrying Spock? A: Because they obey the Lore! When James Kirk and Spock were in college, they always used ladies toilet. Real Name: Captain James Tiberius Kirk. I'll bet you two are responsible for this, eh?" (I'm going to hell for that one!) Star Trek Captain Jokes: Boldly go into the final frontier humor with Captain Kirk, Jean-Luc Picard, and Kathryn Janeway. Though the series … Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any coast witze you can hear about star trek. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any glove and panties witze you can hear about panties. A: Hoisted by our own Picard. The joke … How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Best Image Home In Ccdbb.org - Best Image Home In Ccdbb.Org. The captain has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch over one eye. Bill Clinton : It all depends upon what your definition of “Cross the Road” is. Captain Kirk is the legendary captain from the Star Trek TV series, movies and video games. Quickly understanding (and much nudge-nudge, wink-wink with his fellow Confederates), General Scamelot welcomes the captain's wife and proclaims that he too is married and completely understands, sorry about tomorrow, but they may make generous use of his very own quarters. white people. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Kirk complained to Spock that his legs were getting tired from just standing around. There's no intelligent life down on this one.". Spock: "At the time, it seemed the logical thing to do." 742 331. redneck. Q: What did Spock find in Kirk's toliet? Q: Why couldn’t people make sense of Charles Tucker’s performance? Stop being a centipede! But one man can change the present! He is so wise and insightful, that after reading this article, you might even consider him a cosmic philosopher. The memes on this page have images of Captain James T Kirk from different scenes from the TV series with captions that refer to other characters on the show, trending topics and narrative of the causes of his many facial expressions. The aide praises the captain's intelligence and fetches the jacket. stupid. Q: Why did the Borg cross the road? poems. These Captain Kirk quotes can leave you spellbound. Curious, how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want. Joke #6735. Ah canna work miracles, Captain. He said they should use lots of sugar, because, "everyone knows a … He calls to his aide, "Bring me my red coat!" See, this is why God gave us Joe Biden." Oct 27, 2019 - The subtle moods of James T Kirk. well your username is CapnCrunkk so I think you may be a captain. Three. See more ideas about James t kirk, Captain kirk, Kirk. James Kirk, and yes, he's used to the jokes about the name he shares with the TV starship commander played by actor William Shatner. - Scott, upon learning of the Romulan attackers "Go ahead and laugh! "How can you say that?!" - Scott and Arex, the last line interrupted by a pie in the face "Captain, crewmembers McCoy, Sulu, … When the aide asks why, he says, "If I get shot, the men won't see it and will keep on fighting." Anonymous. Some of these quotes have made their way into other areas of pop-culture. Joke tags. Why did Captain Kirk go into the ladies toilet ?To boldly go where no man has been before ! Captain Burntwood cries out and embraces his wife. BATH, Maine (AP) — Captain Kirk's futuristic-looking vessel sports cutting-edge technology, new propulsion and powerful armaments, but this ship isn't the Starship Enterprise. In hindsight "Shatner Panties" probably wasn't the best name choice. Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. There are a few I remember from my childhood, for instance. --Jay Leno "I guess there seems to be some trouble brewing between Sarah Palin and John McCain. We didn't cause this to happen!" There are so many Captain Kirk quotes that can help you when you are tired of being in the same old rut, and all you need is a little push, a little inspiration, a smile on the face, change of mood, bring you out of the banality of life, make you laugh a little, or may even make you cry a bit, and these Captain Kirk quotes exists just do that. This is an abbreviated profile (Kirk is *amply* documented elsewhere on … First, Captain Kirk said it, and in the rebooted film series, Spock did. Relevance. Nature Puns. Why did captain Kirk pee on the ceiling? A: James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. McCoy: "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a barnyard psychologist!" What did the robot say to the centipede? There is an abundance of moons jokes out there. Captain Kirk and an away team, searching for intelligent life on other planets, traveled down to Earth after going through a time disturbance cloud, landing in Washington D.C. right in the middle of Clinton's inaugural ball. Three. A: Captain Kirk promised to look into it. Because William Shatner. He doesn't give you a lot to go on. Q: What did one Borg say to one another right before their ship was destroyed in sector zero zero one? 6 years ago. This show had enormous impact on Western nerd cultures, and Kirk is arguably *the* figure of the “space hero”. But no one would invest in Shatner Panties. Captain Kirk: "To boldly go where no chicken had gone before!" The skipper of the stealthy Zumwalt is Navy Capt. your own Pins on Pinterest I'm a doctor not an farmer! 14 Answers. They all die of lead poisoning because there's no goverment to regulate how much lead the barman is allowed to put into his drinks. Big Forehead Jokes. A: Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. My other vehicle was assimilated by the Borg. Captain jokes that are not only about capt but actually working lieutenant puns like This is your captain speaking and An army captain approaches a prostitute and asks her Would you enjoy my company for. Ah, dad jokes. Captain Jokes . As expected 49ers bit the crap out of the Chargers. There are two types of people in this world — those who love William Shatner as the “Priceline Negotiator,” and those who love him as space philosopher and Adonis Captain James Tiberius Kirk. Jokes . Captain Kirk stops Seth for racist jokes and Chris Brown and Rihanna Oscars 2013 [HD] dm_512af5eb6ea50 Captain Kirk is the legendary captain from the Star Trek TV series, movies and video games. Because one time, he took a hooker and shatner. 59. Jokes were made. James Kirk, and yes, he's used to the jokes about the name he shares with the TV starship commander played by actor William Shatner. D... read more Captain Kirk: "To boldly go where no chicken had gone before!" The skipper of the stealthy Zumwalt is Navy Captain James Kirk, and yes, he's used to the jokes about the name he shares with the TV starship commander played by actor William Shatner. (I'm going to hell for that one!) To all mankind — may we never find space so vast, planets so cold, heart and mind so empty that we cannot fill them with love and warmth. 57. 8 years ago | 547 views. Answer Save. A pirate captain and his first mate are exchanging stories about their adventures at sea. RECENT TAGS. Pin on destinasi best image home in ccdbb org best lace skirt and blouse lace gown styles. (TOS: \"The Deadly Years\"; Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home; Star Trek V: The Final Frontier; ENT: \"In a Mirror, Darkly, Part II\" production resource) He was the son of George and Winona Kirk. A: Because it assimilated the chicken! If Mr. Spock has pointed ears, what does Mr. Scott have? "Hey, wait a minute! A: They were Stonned. The skipper of the stealthy Zumwalt is Navy Capt. Lv 6. animal. Some of these quotes have been paraphrased. Captain Kirk Jokes – 20 total . for all the teams in that country, I believe it would be called National Championship!Question:Then why the heck are the Superbowl Champions called World Champions?Last I heard, there are many more countries in the world, besides USA. A left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear. And this is what came out of it. Why did Captain Kirk go into the ladies toilet ?To boldly go where no man has been before ! Big Lips Jokes. See whole joke: Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the ...continued on Unijokes.com. Jokes . #kirkspock #star trek #captain kirk #mister spock #meme #funny. How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Miramanee was caught between Kirok and a hard place. women. Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb? After looking around, Kirk says: "Beam us up, … In Galaxy Quest, when Tim Allen’s Commander Taggart gets his shirt ripped unnecessarily, the Trek people in the audience get that this is a joke about Captain Kirk. Manhunter (Paul Kirk) is a fictional character, a superhero and later anti-hero appearing in comic books published by DC Comics. Engineers. Because Barack Obama is not easy to do jokes about. joke bank -Clean Jokes . Kirk … A: Because he wanted to go where no man had gone before. McCoy: "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a barnyard psychologist!" 1. This show had enormous impact on Western nerd cultures, and Kirk is arguably *the* figure of the “space hero”. A conservative minister walks into a hotel and goes to the desk. Enjoy 70 of our most silly, dumb and funny short dad jokes! A: Captain Kirk promised to look into it. How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Kirk … The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General. Favorite Answer. Spock: "At the time, it seemed the logical thing to do." — Spock . #59 – 50. blonde. Mar 1, 2019 - Captain Kirk Quotes | Best Quotes Captain Kirk. A: It was too Trippy. Three: a left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear. After looking around, Kirk says: "Beam us up, … At least that’s the Vulcan vibes we’re getting from Spock actor Zachary Quinto, after beaming up this exclusive sneak peek at an upcoming webcast of Stir Crazy with Josh Horowitz. Ugly Feet Jokes. Q: What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage? Q: Why don't the Borg go to prison? In hindsight "Shatner Panties" probably wasn't the best name choice. James Tiberius (\"Jim\") Kirk was the descendant of late 19th century American frontier pioneers. nerd. Short Star Trek Jokes Q: What does the Enterprise and Toliet paper have in common? A: Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear. The skipper of the stealthy Zumwalt is Navy Captain James Kirk, and yes, he's used to the jokes about the name he shares with the TV starship commander played by actor William Shatner. Regardless, it's one of the most quoted phrases from the franchise. Bill Clinton : It all … Reasons why Kirk is better than Picard Why Picard is better than Kirk Why Sisko is better than Picard and Kirk Why Janeway is better than all three! Seth MacFarlane was, as Captain Kirk predicted during the show, one of the worst hosts in Oscar history, presiding over a cringe-worthy, head-scratching Oscar ceremony. Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Q: How did T'Pring's parents react when they learned she was not marrying Spock? You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the Green Skinned Orion Slave Girl in episode number 7.You pull the legs off your hamster so you'll have a tribble.You tried to join the Navy just so you could serve aboard the Enterprise.Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a Klingon and torture you for information.You went to San Francisco to see if you might bump into Kirk and crew while they were in the 20th Century looking for a whale.Your college thesis was a Comparison of the Illustrious Careers of T.J. Hooker and Captain Kirk.You fly into a homicidal rage anytime people say "Star Trek? "You have no life.You recognize more than 4 references on this list.and number one sign you've watched too much Star TrekYou join NASA, hijack a shuttle, and head for the coordinates you calculated for the planet Vulcan. 1. Captain Kirk is the legendary captain from the Star Trek TV series, movies and video games. He replies, "One day there was a storm, and I fell overboard, and me leg was bitten off by a … TRENDING 25th Birthday Jokes. Gap Teeth Jokes. Music: Paul Simon's "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover")The problem is something 'bout your clothes, she said to meThe red shirt and the stripeless sleeves yell, "I'm Security! Let's give the heathens a fight they won't soon forget!" The Captain's Log. After discussing quite a few differences in culture, they came to reproduction. Here's another one for you: What did Spock find in the Officer's Toilet? One man cannot summon the future. If Mr. Spock has pointed ears, what does Mr. Scott have? A hand, and soon a dialog was reached say to one another right before ship. Is Captain Sinclair speaking one. `` even consider him a cosmic philosopher working. Spock: captain kirk jokes because it couldna change the laws o ' physics ''... Jim, I 'm going to hell for that one!: Joel.... Trouble deciding How to eat him crap out of the “ space hero ” the praises... 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