(Though reading Pema Chodron does help.) A phobia is an excessive fear of an object or situation. For one thing subscribe (it's free) to beyondhealth.com. Anon, I wonder if there is anyone on this list who HASN'T had those ''premonitions.'' for each day she watched him for probably the first month. My fiance and I just did ''dates'' at home after she went to sleep.Grab a bottle of wine and a some fruit and cheese and have a picnic on the living room floor ( baby monitor close by!). Symptoms include increased heart rate, A conscious, meditative effort to think about other, more realistic futures (if you need to imagine hardship, imagine comforting him after his first heartbreak or flunking his driving test) and 2. Avoid TV news and newspapers if they stress you out too much. I had some anxiety attacks a few years ago and have some instances when I can be more prone to them...(medication never advised for me but a class was) at Kaiser they had a class of six or so weeks that teaches folks about anxiety/panic disorders etc. worried too. Fear of Death Be willing to discuss death with the child if he wishes it but use this as a time for reassurance, indicating that he... Be honest when someone close to your family dies either through illness or accident. Sometimes I have to try to differentiate a true premonition vs. codependent behaviour, look at what is healthy mothering and nurturing, and what is fear based control. good luck, Please try and fully educate your self about cancer and you will probably relax a little. issues - that have nothing to do with your child), however, making your child suffer for your fears is not fair. At night, the house is bolted up tight because I am sure someone will take my son and have imagined all the horrendous scenarios. Kim, I, too, have suffered with this ''premonition'' thing for years. If these thoughts are worrying you or if you feel like they're taking over your life and negatively affecting your parenting, you might want to talk to someone about it. What works is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. But life must go on. Learn more about the triggers, whether it’s a classified phobia, symptoms, causes, risk factors, diagnosis, treatment, and outlook for trypophobia. It's been a 7-year battle in my case, but I finally feel like I can enjoy life, let my kids go on field trips without worrying that they will die. We'll tell you more about this phobia, including what can trigger it and what kinds of symptoms you might experience if … I don't even trust my own mother with him 100%. every once in a while. There are lots of mom's groups, many of them formed to help make connections and inoculate you against isolation and feeling trapped. Remember that these things are out of our control, and if it were to happen, you'd be there for him in this time that you can no control. Chills or hot flashes. • Tax ID: 46-4347971, About BPN • Contact BPN • Credits • Terms of Use, Connecting Bay Area families online since 1993, Daycares & Preschools with Current Openings, Parent Classes, Workshops & Groups with Openings, Advice about Classes, Camps, Groups, & Tutors, Imprisoned by fear of harm coming to baby, Petrifying fear that something will happen to my son. The other thing is, there is a part of me that thinks ''If I don't imagine this disastrous possible future scenario, then how will I ever prevent it?'' Basically, I think the problem is that I am living too much in the future. Good luck! Choking or being smothered– Pnigophobia or Pnigerophobia. A child may develop a phobia if he or she has a fearful first However there are a few cancers that afflict children and if you read about them what their symptoms are and the recovery rates as well as the overal instance of a child actually getting cancer (very low) you might feel better. I remember being a kid worrying that my parents would die, being a young married and worrying that my husband would die, and now being a mother and worrying that my child would die. Keep reminding yourself that children get aches and pains and hurt themselves normally. But it isn't real, it isn't your intuition, and it doesn't signify any harm that might befall your loved one. Don't bother with regular therapists. It will be easier to slip into the good thoughts when the bad ones hit you. Worries don't prevent harm, and few children come to harm. we don't teach fear, we teach confidence and strength. If you can keep it under control, you can use it. Fear of losing control or going crazy. Treatment may occur via counselling.. The first is your fear. Practice the good visions (whatever they are) during a time you are not having invasive thinking. I am wracked with fear that anyone I leave my baby with might harm him unintentionally or intentionally. Just think about cars 25 years ago vs. how they smell & look today. Is it possible you may have some deep-seated issues in your own life that contribute to these unusual feelings? I made the decision to take time off and stay home shortly after he was born, but am starting to realize that I am very unhappy as a stay at home mom. But we can't foresee every disaster. But you can't just not think them or force them to go away. You can join a group or take a class somewhere. therapy route first. anon, Berkeley Parents Network, based in Berkeley, California, is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit network for parents in the San Francisco Bay Area. The physical health That only makes them seem more real. You are undoubtedly passing some of that on to the kids. Just to throw it out there - cancer cells need 10 times the amount of sugar to survive than a regular cell, and the digestion of any animal protein uses up two types of enzymes that destroy cancer cells on a daily basis (plant protein doesn't need the enzymes for digestion). Fear of dying. That may be the core issue here: as responsible parents we feel we must prevent all possible bad things from happening to our children. I am SO glad you posted this! If you feel that you can handle it yourself, I would see a therapist who can maybe help you get to the root of the issue and help you to feel calmer. It lasts for at least 6 months. But since you asked, here is some advice. --been there, I have them too, it's normal. Enjoy it while you can.I too had no close family or friends I trusted to babysit (both my parents are dead and some of my fiance's family I would not trust at all) when I had my girl and and I really could't afford to hire anyone so I stayed with her 24-7 her first year and a half and pretty much loved every minute of it! A phobia is an excessive fear of an health issues in family members. I think this is even more of an issue if you have experienced personal loss, or abandonment. on it and read about it...I highly doubt that your ''premonitions'' are really that...it's more of an anxiety and it is common...If by chance you do have kaiser I highly recommend their clas sthat is done in Oakland it was very informative and very very helpfula nd I could understand why I felt this way and learned techniques that I could use to fight them. Make sure though you take extra minerals during detox, so you don't deplete yourself (the good gets taken out with the bad) and to take ''algin'' (google) so the heavy metals can't redistribute back into the body once in the intestines. My partner and I have been with him every day since he was born, which means essentially no more time for ourselves and our relationship is suffering. But these are the most common: A child who has at least 4 of the Then you will know what it is and that it is not cancer. I was diagnosed with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), which was such a relief because it meant I wasn't going crazy, and it is VERY treatable. So my solution is to be fully present, to live mindfully, i.e. perhaps you could try that. Kids fall. I have experienced the same feelings you describe and I'm sure that every parent has too to varying degrees. I have gotten much, much better. I am cognizant that a lot of the answers may lie in my burgeoning spirituality--prayer and meditation and trusting in ''God''--but this is all new to me, it doesn't feel real yet. But none of what I felt that day could have prepared me for what it was really like to lose a child. Chills or hot flashes. Its something you're doing in the face of immense vulnerability at suddenly having your heart torn out of your body and put into this little being. For your young child who's afraid of the dark, have a soothing bedtime routine. These symptoms may seem like other health encounter with an object or situation. or heart arrhythmias), or certain substances or medicines. But I still think about how much of my life is about him: I have a good job, but not a life-defining one, not one in which others rely on me; I am not partnered; and though my family would miss me, they don't really need me. Of course, I don't know why you are so frightened- did you experience something, hear something, or were you raised by someone who worried? That ''flash of dread,'' as you put it, like a mini-panic attack -- I know it well, and it's terrible. When I was taking the pill (even a mini pill during nursing) I had a lot of anxiety that I chalked up to being a nervous first-time parent. If your child has a follow-up appointment, write down the date, time, and purpose for that visit. But if you start wanting to make him wear a bike helmet to go down the slide, you might want to talk to a therapist or doctor. We adore these children - whether it is the first visit or the 100th. I also asked her to fill out a chart (when did he nap, eat, etc. every parent is a worrier, Dear friend, I say this directly and with care. I'm not a doctor and I don't want to pathologize what could be perfectly normal behavior in the context of your life. but the picture of the world in my head is not in her head and its not fair to teach your child to be terrified - a reasonable amount of fear is healthy and ok - but being petrified is not fair. Before your visit, write down questions you want answered. I have seriously scary premonitions that play out in my head all the time regarding my one year old, and it's been that way since before his birth...from the every day occurance (like tripping and falling with him in my arms and he gets a serious brain trauma injury), to completely random (like a fire that gets started while cooking that consumes him). ( You can still use the Nanny cam) The first time maybe just go out for a half hour to get used to it etc and build up. So do the best you can and develop some coping skills- meditate, go to therapy, work it out at the gym, go to church- whatever helps you. Of course, I was just as heartbroken by the death of my grandparents, but what resonated with me even more was the fear of losing my parents. I had 3 older children when he passed away. The probability is exceedingly low, and worrying about it will only make me and my child more nervous. And all of this is totally hypothetical--my son is healthy, and there's no reason for me to think that anything terrible is going to happen to him (except that he has been spending more time away from me, with his father, lately). Being in touch with other parents who have a child with an And by distracting ourselves with these scenarios, we are taking away from the pleasure of being present with our children right now. Know that anything could happen at anytime, each day is a gift. I think they are quite normal. With the proper help, you can be a lot happier and less anxious than you are now. The second issue that springs from your post is your feeling that the only really meaningful reason for you to exist is for your son, and the main reason for you to ''keep going'' if something were to happen to him is the people who really need you, or who wouldn't be able to handle another loss. If you can't get these negative feelings out of your head, or they're just too bothersome, TELL your doctor! from reading your post, i take it that you are probably over-protective, never leave your child alone - look way ahead into the future and super plan for any type of problems you may face. Death is an inevitable part of life everyone must learn to accept. If your child really hurts, you may as well run to the doctor. etc.) Now that my son is grown and moved out, I have them less, but even now if he tells me about his doing something I feel is even remotely risky, I have that overwhelming feeling of dread again. It's a horrible feeling, and of course it makes perfect sense that you should be worried about your child's safety, and then your brain tricks you into thinking it's more than just worrying, but instead a true vision of the future. The same thing is going on in industry, really. I am trying to get a handle on what feels at times like a petrifying fear that something will happen to my son, who's 5; at other times it's like a preemptory depression, with me anticipating that if (when) something does happen to him, I won't have anything to live for and will probably consider suicide. I also worry that I might die before my child! It sounds like you're already doing that, I'm glad you have professional support. We lost our 5th child… I have a friend whose life was transformed by anti-anxiety medication. 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